The funny thread

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brooksi
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Re: The funny thread

Post by brooksi » 11 Mar 2010, 20:25

Krispy Kreme Calendar
Here it is finally, with all new babes, the 2010 Krispy Kreme Calendar
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles ... 869536.jpg
Not safe for kids :thumbup:
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ROON
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Re: The funny thread

Post by ROON » 12 Mar 2010, 12:40

I feel sorry for that poor stool under Ms June.
- Josh

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LimeB
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Re: The funny thread

Post by LimeB » 12 Mar 2010, 19:08

You have tricked me into looking at that and I am forever scarred.
Last edited by LimeB on 21 May 2010, 21:16, edited 1 time in total.

KikkiZarse
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Re: The funny thread

Post by KikkiZarse » 12 Mar 2010, 20:34

Sorry,... had to take photo away, it was disgraceful...and probably against the forum rules... :red face :peep:

Try this instead...
and a WARNING...make sure you are sitting down,...she's "No Honey"

http://i1009.photobucket.com/albums/af2 ... hesoap.jpg
Last edited by KikkiZarse on 13 Mar 2010, 11:45, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: The funny thread

Post by j4ck » 12 Mar 2010, 21:07

O__________O

Wow...
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ROON
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Re: The funny thread

Post by ROON » 12 Mar 2010, 21:42

... I'm speechless, for a number of reasons.
- Josh

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brooksi
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Re: The funny thread

Post by brooksi » 14 Mar 2010, 14:51

News just in: medicare our now paying $6.50 a shot for sperm donations, which means that old towell under you bed is worth about 40 grand!!
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Harly Davidson died and went to heaven as was boasting to god how he created the best motorbike in the world, God disagreed saying BMWs were a better designed bike, Harley said what the F*&K do you know about design, you created women and look at the problems we have with them!!
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You know that look women get when they want sex?? no?, me neither!!
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Re: The funny thread

Post by terry » 14 Mar 2010, 20:38



MTV Cribs on my house! yay!
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Re: The funny thread

Post by brooksi » 24 Mar 2010, 20:01

Tony and Yvonne..........

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched their pennies.


Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on yet another holiday and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.


They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'


Tony asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
Tony looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled Tony..
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'



Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Tony. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'
Tony looked around and glanced nervously at Yvonne.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!'


'No gym to work out at?' said Tony
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'


Tony glared at Yvonne and said, 'You and your f***ing Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!
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Re: The funny thread

Post by ROON » 06 Apr 2010, 09:50

Murphy's law application for antigravitatory cats
Image
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brooksi
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Re: The funny thread

Post by brooksi » 21 May 2010, 18:52

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.'.... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.



The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your pants'.




After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:



'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back..
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Re: The funny thread

Post by PilbaraBass » 21 May 2010, 20:07

A duck waddles into a chemist to buy some chapstick.
At the till, the chemist asks, "will that be cash or eftpos?"
The duck replies....



(*wait for it *) :yep



..."Just put it on my bill." :rolf: :rolf:
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LimeB
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Re: The funny thread

Post by LimeB » 21 May 2010, 21:20

Why do little ducks walk softly?


Because they can't walk hardly.

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brooksi
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Re: The funny thread

Post by brooksi » 26 May 2010, 19:07

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my schooner and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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ozroscoe
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Re: The funny thread

Post by ozroscoe » 26 May 2010, 20:08

brooksi wrote:I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my schooner and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Now THAT is the funniest thing I've read in months! Still chuckling... :lol:

Cheers
Ross

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